The Afterlife
by Umi Sagara
Summary: All those characters that died and don't come back, and aren't annoyingoverrated are right here. Shuichi Akai Detective Conan and Ryuzaki Death Note are the main characters here. A bit of DBZ bashing involved.


Disclaimer-I don't own any of the characters from Detective Conan, Death Note, etc. etc. I only own my own character. :3

WARNING: This fic will contain spoilers, especially from Detective Conan, the latest scanlated special, and the part in Death Note after a certain character died.

* * *

Shuichi Akai looked down from his little cloud. He looked upset. And tired. In fact, if anyone up here looked as tired as he was, that would probably be L or Ryuzaki, or whatever he wanted people to call them now. He had just gotten shooed into the gates of Heaven, after a very long and seeming difficult choice for Michael. 

"'Please, don't think badly of me'," Shuichi's eyes twitched as he repeated his killer's thoughts to him. "Like freakin' hell I won't! You shot me in the lung, then blew my freaking head off, and if that's not all, you blew me up! Why didn't you just rape my corpse while you were at it?" He grabbed his passing insomniac buddy, Ryuzaki, and pointed at her.

"Do you see that? She killed me! Three times!"

"Actually, she killed you once. I heard your entire yelling at her. Besides, it's not like you're Goku or something. God, we hate that bastard."

"Why?"

"Do you even know how many times he has died and then got leave to go back to life?"

"Um.. I _am_ kinda new here."

"Oh yeah. Well, him, Zero, Sigma, and Sephiroth are the biggest whiners. They always go back to living through some convenient plothole."

"Wait, wait.. Sephiroth? Sigma?!"

Ryuzaki shrugged. "We figured that Satan was scared of them, and noone else would take them. I see you've played those games."

"Yeah.. Sephiroth was a bastard to beat." Shuichi glared back down at Reina driving away.

"Rye?"

Shuichi suddenly turned around at this very familiar voice, and his old codename. "Akemi?"

"It is you Shuu!" Akemi Miyano floated towards him somewhat calm. She took his hand and he held up a hand to her, as if to say "wait a sec." Akemi smiled and nodded. Shuichi turned back around to watch Reina Mizunashi drive off and held up a hand. He said, very solemnly, "I now forgive you for shooting me in the lungs, causing me to die very slowly and painfully, and then blowing my brains out, and burning my body to a crisp, except for my ever-so-convenient right hand. Although, I will still haunt you until you possibly have a heart attack."

"Woah, woah, wait a minute, there buddy," Ryuzaki interrupted, "one, I was killed via heart attack. It's not a pleasant trip. All that paperwork I had to do still gives me nightmares. And two-"

"-You have nightmares?" Shuichi poked at the bags under Ryuzaki's eyes, indicating his obvious lack of sleep.

"... Yes. Yes I do. And two-" Shuichi interrupted with a fit of laughter. Akemi was obviously trying not to laugh. Ryuzaki rolled his eyes. The fact that he slept-was that amusing to these two idiots? Ryuzaki stood there, and waited for the two of them to stop before he continued.

"And two, unless you're an emo soul trapped between the two worlds, all the paperwork to get down there as a spirit is.." Ryuzaki shuddered. Obviously, _someone_ didn't like doing paperwork. "It's just bad. But by now, Zero and Sigma have 'get out of death free' discount cards, where they just show it to Michael, and badda boom, they're out. Goku is a real good pal of one of the higher ups around here, so he just gets off whenever he feels it's convenient. As for Sephiroth, well.. He.. kinda.. destroys the paperwork with showers of meteorites, and they gave him a 'get out of death free' card."

"I've hardly been up here ten minutes, and already, they sound like bastards." Shuichi waved Akemi goodbye as she went to go meet her parents or something.

"Just wait until you meet them," Ryuzaki said, rolling his eyes again. "Oh look," he pointed to the gate, "speak of the worst."

Goku smiled at Michael and walked over to them, waving to them. "Hey, L! Who's the new guy?"

"Okay," Ryuzaki whispered, "he's the dumb jock type. Strong as an ox, smart as an ox."

"Ah."

"This is Shuichi. He got here about ten minutes ago."

"Cool! Hey, you haven't seen Zero around, have you?" Ryuzaki shook his head and Goku looked a little dejected.

"Well, okay then. See you guys later!" He ran back out the gates, showing a card, and fwapped on down to his earth. Ryuzaki looked at the gate, looking annoyed and possibly more pissed than Shuichi's mother when he was little and had to be woken up early to go to school. Shuichi shuddered at the mere thought. "How did he and Zero wind up hanging out together?"

Ryuzaki pointed behind him about five feet, where the red reploid, Zero, was talking to one of the victims of a murder Shinichi solved. "He didn't. Zero hates him, too."

"Ah. That explains a lot. Does anyone like him?"

"Eh, a few do. But most people got really annoyed or pissed, or both, at him after his fifth time coming back."

"Ah."

"Anyone or anything else I need to know?"

"Not for the time being. Maybe in a few minutes, when I remember."

"You don't remember?"

Ryuzaki shrugged. "The paperwork gives me odd fits of random partial insomnia."

"You made that up."

"Yup."

* * *

Author's Notes: Since I'm much more familiar with Detective Conan than Death Note or anything else, I think the DC characters will appear much more and have more lines than most. Shuichi will probably be the main character.

Aaaand, this is the last thing I write before writing my part of chapter 7, which I have really been procrastinating on. And as for all you catholics/christians out there who don't like this... Well.. One, I'm catholic too. Technically. Two, this is just for kicks. And three, because I also felt like doing this, here's a short, behind-the-scenes sequel to this chapter:

A teenage girl lay curled up in the fetal position, bleeding, bruised, and probably dead.  
-in heaven-  
L: Soo... who killed you?  
me: .. A bunch of catholic children.  
L: O.o  
me: Yeah. They beat me.  
L: with _what_?!  
me: -listing them- golf clubs, baseball bats, sticks, scissors, and my own spinal cord.  
L: -wincing with each object- Ow.  
me: Yeah. Who knew little Catholic boys and girls could pack that much of a punch?


End file.
